


Calm Between

by deanine



Category: Crisis Core: Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII, Final Fantasy VII Remake (Video Game 2020)
Genre: Home is What We Make, Some Fluff, Some angst, good bros, tactile Zack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-31
Updated: 2020-08-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 20:28:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 13,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25621375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanine/pseuds/deanine
Summary: Zack left Hojo’s lab a changed man, no longer the bright and hopeful puppy Angeal had mentored to be a hero.  He is determined to get home, to save his friend, to be free.  Surviving his return to Midgar is just the beginning, but saving a life will be more complicated than a long walk home.
Relationships: Zack Fair & Cloud Strife, Zack/Aerith
Comments: 12
Kudos: 57





	1. Homecoming

**Author's Note:**

> This story is AU. It’s inspired by the ending of FF7 remake. Continuity picks up at roughly the end of Crisis Core. 
> 
> I realize everyone and their kid brother has written a version of Zack lives. This story was started because I couldn’t find the good-bros-Zack-lives fic that I wanted to read. 
> 
> My intention is to post a chapter a week until the story is finished.

There were things you learned growing up in the country, things like navigating the wilderness, finding food and water. Lurching steadily forward, Zack talked about those rules to his silent, stiffly shuffling shadow. “Now, we’re going to need to stop for water soon. Have you been watching the vegetation? That’s why we’ve been listing north; I’m not lost, Cloud. Have faith. Can’t quite hear the river yet, but it’s going to be there. Just have to keep moving, right?”

Cloud didn’t answer of course. He managed to stay upright with a little support and he shuffled his feet in the direction he was tugged. In their weeks of travel, Cloud remained little more than a blond semi-mobile turnip. Zack tried not to feel hopeless about his friend’s chances. People recovered from mako poising, sometimes. Maybe? He wasn’t exactly a doctor, but the kid was breathing and breathing people could get better.

The river did make an appearance before nightfall and Zack went through the motions of making camp, boiling water, collecting dinner. Always careful to keep Cloud within his line of sight, he foraged a nice pile of fruit and nuts. It was awkward slicing up the fruit with nothing but a buster sword, but getting some sustenance into his semi-comatose friend required the effort. 

Cradling Cloud like a child, Zack carefully trickled water between his friend’s lips. He followed that with a small sweet morsel of dumb apple. He waited for him to reflexively swallow before following it with another. “Mako from the reactor poisoned the baby goats back home pretty frequently. The mothers would abandon them, but we’d try and get them to survive. We’d make mash and force feed them and talk to them and some of them would wake up eventually.” A lot of them died and a fair few mutated into decidedly un-goat-like creatures but Zack didn’t think Cloud needed to hear that, if he was hearing anything at all. 

“We aren’t that far from Midgar now, you know. When we get back, you and me are going to find a nice place down in the slums, somewhere inconspicuous and safe. Sector five probably, my girl lives there you know. You’re going to love her. Midgar is a dirty town, especially in the slums but it doesn’t touch her. She’s freaking teflon in a pretty blue dress.” Done with force feeding for now, Zack shifted Cloud so that he was leaning partially against a tree and tucked into his side for the added warmth. He crunched quickly through the rest of the foraged food. “Time to rest a bit, bud. We’ll be in Midgar before this time tomorrow. Do me a favor and try waking up a bit in the morning? I’ve hauled your ass this far, but I’m starting to lose the faith a little.” Zack squeezed Cloud’s shoulders crushing him tighter into his side. “Just try, man. It’s all I’m asking.”

The morning did not bring a wakeful Cloud, but Zack imagined that his friend was carrying more of his own weight, stepping slightly more lively. His hopeful optimism lasted straight up until the Shinra forces ambushed them and he threw himself into the fight for his life and Cloud’s life too.

* * *

Some people are hard to sneak up on. Aerith sometimes pretended to listen to the flowers in her garden, but it wasn’t the flowers that whispered when a Turk was striding down the path or when monsters were creeping through the slums. The planet warned her well in advance that she had a long-overdue visitor limping her way. It gave her time to prepare, to get over the shock and decide how she felt. She decided to be angry with him, to refuse to even listen to any excuses he offered for his nearly five year absence. 

Her resolute anger lasted right up until Zack walked through the doors of the church, limping and bleeding, a companion slung over his shoulder. He looked up at her, bright blue eyes shining in a dirty, bruised face. “Hey babe, can I say, you’re a sight for sore eyes.”

It took her only a few moments to realize how close to collapse he was and she brandished her simple staff, casting a healing spell. Before she could perform the same spell on his unconscious companion, Zack held a hand up in a stopping gesture. “He has mako poisoning. Casting at that makes it worse, not better. Right? I mean, I think that’s right.”

Aerith paused. “Oh, I’ve never treated someone with that.” She gestured them over to a pew and Zack settled his blond friend onto the seat. “Is he an addict?”

“Hell no,” Zack said, instantly defensive for Cloud. “He’s my friend, and this is not his fault, okay.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to imply anything. It’s just, there’s not that many ways mako poisoning happens and when you get injured working for Shinra, I’m pretty sure they have hospitals for that.” Aerith shrugged unsure how she had so easily lost the moral high ground in this reunion. “I guess I’m just confused, Zack. It’s been almost five years and you pop in, half-dead, your friend practically glowing with mako here at your side. Where were you? Why come back now?”

“Five years,” Zack echoed. Suddenly it was hard to swallow. He had gotten her final message. Its ominous implications not withstanding, he had hoped less time had passed. “Do you want me to go? I’d understand if you’ve moved on to some other devastatingly handsome fellow. Five years is a long time.”

Aerith sighed and threw her hands up. “I intended to be mad at you, Zack Fair. You were going to have to earn back my trust and affection. But it’s hard to stay mad when you’re here and you’re you. I really don’t want you to go, but I need you to tell me the truth. Where were you? Why did you leave?” Aerith asked. 

“A first class SOLDIER can’t share the details of a mission. Of course, Shinra terminated my employment pretty aggressively, at least that’s how I’m interpreting the way things went down.” Zack slipped onto the pew next to Cloud and snaked an arm around the unresponsive young man. “Five years ago, me and Cloud here were on a mission that went FUBAR.”

“FUBAR?” Aerith asked.

Zack frowned, unwilling to translate the crude acronym literally. “Sorry, the mission went wrong, so wrong. Our commander, another SOLDIER, went crazy and burned a village, killed everybody. Together, Cloud and I managed to put him down. I guess our efforts were not appreciated. They scraped our critically wounded asses up and carted us to the nearest lab for a four year stint as guinea pigs, not that I remember it for the most part. Pretty sure I was as comatose as my friend here in my very own mako tube for most of that time.” 

Aerith covered her mouth, surprised at the stark facts of Zack’s absence. “I envisioned you out in the world fighting and having adventures. Part of me thought you’d forgotten me, that you found all my silly letters annoying. I guess you didn’t get those.” Aerith straightened and put her hands on her hips. “Are you okay? I know a doctor that could have a look at you and your friend.”

“Yeah, doctors cost money. Besides that we need to keep a low profile.” Aerith opened her mouth to argue, but Zack shook his head again. “No doctors. I’m a SOLDIER, my biology is fouled up, and while Cloud wasn’t a SOLDIER, who knows what Hojo did to him in those lost years. A doctor won’t know what to make of us, trust me.”

“Of course I trust you, but you could try trusting me. My doctor friend can help. You should at least let him have a look at Cloud. We can pretend he’s a mako addict. That’s plenty low profile. Stop being stubborn, and let me help. He needs help.” 

“You weren’t there from when we first escaped. Cloud is better. He’s okay,” Zack said, unable to explain how little he wanted a doctor of any kind anywhere near Cloud or himself. Doctors in their clean white lab coats were too close to scientists.

“That depends on your definition of okay.” Aerith waved a hand back and forth in front of Cloud’s unresponsive face. 

“He’s breathing,” Zack countered. 

“But he isn’t doing much else,” Aerith countered. “You can trust my doctor, Zack. He won’t charge you anything. He owes me about a dozen favors.” 

Her assessment of Cloud wasn’t exactly wrong, and why was he here if he wasn’t going to trust Aerith to help them? “Fine, we’ll let your doctor friend have a look at him.”

“I wish you’d let him have a look at you too,” Aerith requested gently. 

“That’s not happening.” Zack laughed a bit hysterically. He’d never been particularly introspective or philosophical, his few high ideals learned directly from his mentor Angeal. It didn’t stop him for having his very own existential crisis sitting in Aerith’s old church. “What part of I’m not properly human anymore was unclear? I’m not interested in a doctor scientifically proving the fact to me. I’m fine, for what I am.”

Aerith shook her head resolutely. “Not human? Nope, I don’t accept that. You’re tired and you’ve been through a lot.” She got down on her knees in front of him. She held his gaze and gently stroked his dirty face. “You look and feel like my Zack, and my Zack was very human.”

Zack ran a thumb over her cheek, leaving a dark smudge behind. “Okay, you’re the boss, I’ll stop taking about not being human, but the doctor still isn’t touching me.”

In that moment five years didn’t matter. Forget forgiveness, love welled up choking off any words she might have offered. Aerith was just so glad to have another moment with her Zack. 

Too practical to linger in the moment for very long, Aerith stood and brushed her skirt off. “I’ll get Cloud set up with the doctor. We’ll need to find you boys somewhere to stay. Mom is never going to let the two of you have the guest room. I’m guessing your financial situation is less than liquid all things considered?”

“I can work. I have my sword. I’ll be the best damn mercenary the slums have ever seen. We don’t need much.” Zack ruffled Cloud’s hair, hoping the young man would resist the gesture, complain, anything. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll spot you first month’s rent. You’re looking at the slums most successful, okay only, active florist. An old friend inspired me with his business plan, and things just took off from there.”


	2. Rusty

Mercenary work in the slums wasn’t exactly hard. Zack hacked his way through an infestation of hedgehog pies, one after the other using his buster sword with smooth grace and efficiency. Before the first group had been dispatched, another swarm rushed through the underbrush causing small injuries from their sheer numbers if not strength. When the last red devil was dead and fading away into the lifestream, Zack sighed, rubbing at a particularly itchy bite on the back of his wrist. No the work wasn’t hard, but it was annoying.

Refusing to waste his precious stock of potions for the nibbling damage he’d received. Zack swung his sword back into its harness and walked the short dirt trail to his employer, hardly limping at all. When the junk dealer came into view, Zack made it a point to stand taller and show no sign that he’d taken damage. Appearances could make or break his fledgling business, and Aerith’s endorsement was only going to get him so far. “Hey Alfonso, you might have underestimated the job a bit. A pair of mating hedgehog pies on the back path to sector four? Try a mating pair and five dozen of their beautiful children.”

The old junk dealer jingled a handful of gil. “What did you think a mating pair would lead too? No renegotiating, two hundred, no more.”

Zack accepted the money, but he didn’t leave, putting on his best negotiating face. “Actually I was thinking more like a tip or a bonus, considering how misrepresented the job was. You and me will work together again I’m sure, if we all end the transaction on good terms.” He nodded to an old rusty sword hanging on the back wall. “That thing is broke down and close to being useless. Whoever bartered it to you didn’t teach you how to take care of it, and you haven’t managed to unload it. Give it to me for…” Zack scratched his chin as though thinking hard.

“You can have the blasted thing. It’s hung on that wall for seven years. Be glad to be shut of it. If you can make use of it, all the better, but I want a discount next time we do business,” the old man wheedled.

“If I discount your next job any more, that’s called working for free.” Zack accepted the sword, examining it more closely. The weapon was neglected but it had good bones. It could probably be rehabilitated. “But it’s a deal. Thanks.”

There was time left in the day to look for another quick job, but Zack headed toward home, or the sleazy, tiny rathole that was passing for home at the moment. Sector five’s Over the Moon Apartments were a far cry from the living quarters Shinra had afforded Zack as a first class SOLDIER—no fluffy beds or maid-maintained en suites in the slums. 

Rather than just let himself in, he knocked, warning the room’s other occupant. Cloud wasn’t back to normal but he was aware most of the time. He moved around the tiny apartment. Hell, he’d even started doing chores like their laundry without any prompting. A savory smell greeted him and Zack heard his stomach literally growl. “Okay, I left you with a pile of foraged tubers and rat jerky. There is no way that smell is from those ingredients.”

Cloud didn’t answer, not with words. His friend hadn’t yet spoken on his road to recovery but he met Zack’s gaze and he smiled. Setting both swords aside, Zack dished himself up a pile of the steaming mash and dug in. It was glorious. “So you got the ancient excuse for an oven to work? Cause it still looks like a sad broken mess. And how did you get pepper? I taste pepper.”

With a timid look, Cloud brandished a partially mastered fire materia. 

“You cooked with fire materia? Are you crazy man? You could have burned yourself up in here.” Zack snatched the green materia out of Could’s hand and stuffed it back in his pocket where it belonged. One of the problems with mercenary work was having to leave Cloud unattended. He felt like a negligent parent leaving a toddler to care for themselves. People recovering from mako poisoning got confused and they could hurt themselves or others if the recovery wasn’t handled delicately. Aerith’s doctor made it very clear what Cloud needed, a hospital with rehabilitation equipment and psychiatrists and real fucking doctors. Instead he got semi-isolation in a crappy shoebox apartment where his misfiring brain occasionally led him to clean or attempt adventures in experimental cooking. 

“Stop treating me like a child.” 

Zack swallowed and smiled, absolutely shocked and thrilled at the words from his friend after all this time. “You’re not a child, but you are recovering from mako poisoning, so I get to mother you until that’s better.” If anything, Cloud looked more distressed at his answer. “Don’t look at me like that. You’re getting better every day. It’s a flipping miracle that you’re walking around and talking to me and creating gourmet tuber mash. Seriously, this is crazy tasty. Why don’t you eat with me?”

He could tell that Cloud wanted to say more, but instead he quietly piled his plate with food and started eating. “I don’t mind you arguing with me, you know. It’s a relief really. When you first started waking up,” Zack trailed away unable to explain the creepy horror of trying to coax a human reaction out of Cloud’s silent compliance. “This situation is messed up and I’m going to make mistakes. If you don’t argue with me, I won’t know when I’m wrong.”

Apparently unwilling or unable to continue their conversation, Cloud finished his meal and retreated to bed. The single hard, narrow cot had gone to the smaller man since he could actually fit the bunk without any special contortions. Also Zack didn’t mind the floor, between the stress and paranoia he barely slept anyway. Normally at this point of the day he’d head out and try to catch Aerith on her way home, but tonight was a Turk night. They always visited her on a schedule, pitched their recruitment spiel before leaving her in peace for a few days. 

While, Zack assumed there was some benign neglect and willful ignorance that had allowed his and Cloud’s continued freedom. It was best not to rub their existence in anyone’s nose. Sympathetic to him or not, the Turks were ultimately loyal to Shinra. Today would offer no company in the form of Aerith and he wasn’t nearly tired enough to bunk down. 

Zack fingered the small stack of precious gil he had earned, more than enough to buy a small distraction and maybe a little sleep. The shops were happy to sell him a bottle of liquor and Zack slipped up to the roof of their apartment building to drink it. Once the bottle was gone, Zack felt almost tipsy enough to maybe sleep a little while. 

Cloud gave no sign that he noticed his going and coming so Zack refrained from announcing his arrival or saying goodnight. Settling onto his pallet on the floor, the dulling effect of the alcohol was just enough to allow him to drift off. Far too short a while later, just after midnight, Zack was awake again and alone with his thoughts. Desperate for a distraction to pass the time, Zack took some sword oil and a cloth. Methodically he scrubbed at the rusty sword, long strokes that flaked rust away. 

Cloud wasn’t actually sleeping either Zack realized quickly. He met the blue-green glowing eyes and their newly cogent gaze. Zack grinned. “I forgot to tell you about my best paying job today. That stingy junk dealer down behind the train station hired me to kill a couple of hedgehog pies over toward sector four. Only there were ten dozen hedgehog pies, no I’m not exaggerating. Alfonso was so impressed that he paid me a rusty little bonus. I know it isn’t much, but this sword is going to be yours as soon as you’re ready to get out and join our fledgling mercenary business. Do you like it?”

“It’s a terrible sword,” Cloud muttered, his voice so quiet that Zack could almost believe he’d imagined it.

“Yeah, it’s pretty terrible, and I know you’re really more accustomed to rifles, but I don’t have a rifle, so I’d better keep rubbing the rust off this generic piece of shit, yeah?” Zack said.

Cloud left his bed and took a seat next to his friend on the floor. He tugged the sword and oilcloth away and started rubbing at the rust, mimicking Zack’s technique. “I can’t stay in this room all the time anymore. It’s too small. I need to start getting out.”

Zack had just recently invited Cloud to argue with him, so he happily rolled with it. “Okay, but I can’t take you out with me when I’m working. You’re not ready. I mean, before today you weren’t even talking.”

“I started talking yesterday,” Cloud smiled crookedly.

“Touché, my friend. Maybe you could help Aerith out tomorrow. Provide support and protection on her flower selling rounds. I know she’d appreciate the additional hand carrying things if nothing else.” Zack restrained himself from throwing around the words low risk and busy work, though he suspected Cloud was recovered enough to read between those lines.

“Assistant florist? I’ll take that over another day of these four walls.” For more than an hour, Cloud cleaned his sword and the friends sat together in companionable silence. When the last spec of rust was gone, he held the sword out, not properly extended as the room was too cramped. “Zack?”

“Yeah man?” Zack asked, actually half-dozing.

“Can you tell me who I am?” 

Forgetting sleep, Zack jerked forward, completely nonplussed. “What do you mean? You know who you are.”

“I don’t, really. My memories are jumbled up and they contradict themselves and I don’t know what’s real.” Cloud tried not to let the terror of this fundamental confusion show in his face or voice, but he was shaking and knew he couldn’t stop.

“You’re Cloud Strife, my friend, former Shinra infantryman. You can climb a mountain like a goat and you’re a little bit of a dork.” Zack shifted closer and pulled Cloud into his side like he had when they were fleeing through the wilderness. “Do you remember how we met?”

“No, I don’t even remember being an infantryman,” Cloud whispered.

“That’s okay. Give yourself a break and a little time. You just started talking again today.” Zack could practically feel Cloud’s frown and he corrected himself. “Sorry, yesterday. You’re lucky to be alive with the level of mako poisoning you’re coming back from, okay?” Zack could feel some of the tension in Cloud release but he was still shaking.

“Why was I mako poisoned? Was there an accident?” Cloud asked.

“Why don’t we start with a nicer anecdote and work up to that one. Don’t you want to know how you met me? Every good friendship needs an origin story.” Zack tried to steer the conversation to easier waters. He didn’t want to put more stress on Cloud than he could handle and the story of their time with Hojo, broken and fragmented as Zack’s own memories of it were, seemed the worst thing to be discussing.

Cloud didn’t immediately agree, but he sighed after a moment. “You don’t want to discuss it, so that makes me think I must be a junkie. Is that it?” Cloud gestured to the apartment’s walls. “That’s what our neighbors think. I can hear them gossiping when I’m alone. They think you’re very handsome and dashing and that it’s a shame you’re a twink who’s hung up on some damaged mako junkie.”

“Are you kidding? Well Hell, if you’re getting your information from the very reliable nosey neighbors that know us so well that they think we’re sharing that little cot over there, who am I to argue? Aerith is going to be pretty disappointed though.” When Cloud didn’t respond to his sarcasm, Zack shifted so they were face to face. “Listen to me, very closely. You are not a junkie. Your mako addiction was acquired against your will. You and I were unwilling guests of Shinra for a bit over four years. Being a SOLDIER, I was already acclimated to mako enhancement and was less debilitated by the experience. A genuine mad scientist pickled you in mako for **years**. It’s a miracle you’re alive and having this conversation with me.” Zack refused to look away until Cloud nodded acceptance of his explanation. 

“Now, I don’t want to talk about the lab or our time there tonight. So you pick anything else and we can discuss it. What do you say?” Zack practically pleaded.

Cloud sat silently for several long minutes. “Not tonight, but we will discuss it.”

“Of course,” Zack agreed.

“Okay, origin story, tell me how we met,” Cloud said.

“Good choice, Cloudy. You and I met on a mountain trail. It’s where I learned about your mountain goat skills. We were on a mission with other infantrymen and even a Turk but no one could keep up with the pace except you.” Zack tucked Cloud back into his side like he had many nights on the road. Chattering his way through the story about old times, he was relieved to feel the rest of the tension slowly bleed out of his friend. “Turks can be intimidating but take them out of Midgar, send them into the countryside and try to get one of those stuffed suits to lay a campfire. Hilarious.”


	3. Assistant Florist

With as much seriousness as he had ever lectured any raw recruit, Zack paced in front of Aerith. “First off thank you for this. I appreciate it and so does Cloud. But you know he isn’t well. You’re going to have to make sure he stays out of trouble. He basically has no experience with that sword he’ll be carrying. Anything more ferocious than a dire rat and you both need to leave it be and head the other way. If he gets confused, just don’t let him freak out okay.” Zack envisioned Cloud asking Aerith who he was, and suddenly he felt ill. “You know what, this is a terrible idea. Forget that I brought it up. I’ll just go let Cloud know we’re not doing this.”

“Don’t be a helicopter friend. If Cloud gets confused, I’ll help him until he feels better.” Aerith slapped Zack solidly on the shoulder. “Go get him. I have the rules down. Don’t stress out your friend. Don’t let him get in any fights. Trust me.”

Zack couldn’t say that his reservations melted away but Aerith’s enthusiasm filled him with pride. He was lucky to have her and he was going to have to trust her. Cloud was too recovered to keep leaving in the apartment. Better helping Aerith than left alone to eventually venture out on his own. 

A bit shorter and much blonder, Cloud looked like nothing more than Zack’s younger brother who had dressed up like a SOLDIER, a very realistic costume that Cloud’s expression and posture didn’t quite sell. Aerith couldn’t help herself, she clasped her hands together and sighed, “So adorable. I wish I had a camera.”

“Adorable?” Cloud asked. “She’s not talking about me?”

“Buddy, I’m the super-hot boyfriend in this picture. That would make you the precious one, yes.” Zack barely smiled at his own joke, too focused on the time. “I have to run or I’m going to be late for that regular escort gig in sector six. You guys, stay safe, okay?”

Cloud got an odd nervous feeling, with Zack gone and Aerith still staring at him like a new sparkly toy. “Come on then, Cloud. Let’s get you into uniform. We’re selling flowers not storming a beach. Intimidating as the outlaw SOLDIER vibe is, we want the customers to approach us and buy the flowers.”

Sector five had an impressive row of secondhand shops and Aerith knew her way around the mountains of clothes. In no time at all and for remarkably little gil, she had him decked out in a deep blue button up and a pair of only slightly worn black jeans. Cloud refused to be parted from his magnetic harness and broadsword, but Aerith didn’t fight him over those concessions. “All right floral assistant, lets roll out to the flower beds. It’s tulip season. Tulips are perennials, a good investment for any florist. They aren’t terribly high maintenance. Roses for example are just impossible under the plate. I tried a rose bed, but it took so much work to get a sad little bud. I switched that bed over to irises and they grew like weeds.” 

Like Zack, Aerith talked a lot, filling the space between them with floral facts and sector five facts and sometimes just nonsense. Cloud soaked the words in, a steady stream of truth that could distract him from the jumbled confusion of his own mind. He harvested flowers as instructed and loaded flowers. He pushed the flower cart and let Aerith interact with the citizens, selling and giving away flowers as they rolled along. 

“You’re giving away more than you’re selling,” Cloud said when they stopped at midday for a small meal. “What kind of florist gives all her flowers away?”

“Not a wealthy one,” Aerith joked. “Don’t worry, Cloud; I know what I’m doing. Mom owns the cottage. We’re healthy. I don’t need much money to get by. The ones I sell are enough.”

Thinking about the small hoard of gil Zack had been obsessively collecting since Cloud’s brain had shifted back into gear enough to remember, he frowned at the different approaches to money management. “Money doesn’t just pay the rent. It can buy quality of life and safety,” Cloud quoted from one of Zack’s many rambles. “Don’t you want to get out of here? Maybe have a flowerbed under the real sky?”

Aerith shrugged. “I like the steel sky.” She looked up and smiled. “It’s home.”

At the end of the day, Aerith took half the gil she’d collected and pressed it into Cloud’s hand. He tried to refuse but Aerith shushed him. “You did more than half the work. Thanks to your help I probably sold three times as many flowers as usual. Sincerely, you earned it. I’ll see you tomorrow, Cloud.”

Aerith didn’t leave until he was safely shut back in their tiny apartment. It seemed even smaller after spending a day outside. With nothing better to do, Cloud inventoried the food Zack had foraged for them. Six dried noodle packets, some bullion and a fresh pack of mystery jerky waited to be combined into something edible. Cloud sighed, wishing Zack had left him his fire materia. Instead of giving up on preparing a meal, he scooped their broken oven up and headed for the local junker. Hopefully his small stack of gil would be enough to pay for the repairs their only appliance needed.

Following Aerith around for a day had Cloud feeling confident that he wouldn’t get lost at least in this small area of the slums. There was a line at the junker’s counter so he quietly waited his turn. Oblivious to the fact that effortlessly holding the clunky oven qualified as a feat of strength to the people watching him, Cloud avoided eye contact and just tried to remain inconspicuous. When it was finally his turn, he set the broken appliance down and placed his entire pile of gil on the counter. “Can you fix it?”

The junker looked from the appliance to Cloud, taking in his glowing eyes and the broadsword he had bartered rather recently to Zack the merc. “Sure I fix shit like this all the time, but that’s not enough gil. You work with Zack, right?”

“Yes?” Cloud answered. “You know Zack?”

“Oh yeah Zack is great, good worker. Look, keep the gil. I have a job. We should trade services. There’s a rust drake over at sector seven’s scrap yard. My supplier isn’t doing any supplying because of it. I’ll fix your oven while you go handle it. Deal?”

Cloud paused. He could remember fighting drakes, all different colors of drakes. In his memories those fights weren’t terribly hard, but were they real memories? How was he even supposed to find sector seven’s scrap yard? 

Zack wouldn’t approve of this plan. Technically, he wouldn’t have even approved of Cloud walking to the junker by himself. He had heard Zack discussing him with Aerith. Maybe it was unfair of him, asking to be treated like a competent adult, but he wasn’t a child. Cloud scooped his gil up, clenched his jaw stubbornly and nodded. “Okay, I’ll handle it.”

* * *

Neither her flowers nor the planet warned Aerith that things had started to go awry with Zack’s carefully laid plans for Cloud’s safety. Her first hint of a problem came in the form of a frantically pacing ex-SOLDIER in her mother’s kitchen. If his agitation hadn’t clued her in that there was a problem, his greeting made the situation far clearer. “Where’s Cloud?”

“I left him at your apartment like we planned. You weren’t home yet, but Cloud has been staying there by himself for weeks now. Is he not there?” Aerith asked calmly.

“No, he’s not. I mean maybe he is now. He could be back. I’m going to go check again,” Zack was out the door and striding down the path before he finished speaking and Aerith raced after him. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. If he’s going to start wandering, how am I going to keep up with him?”

“He’s not a toddler, Zack. He was really clear, easy to work with today. Maybe he just went shopping?” Aerith suggested. 

“With what money?” Zack barked.

“The money I gave him for working all day, maybe?”

Zack stopped abruptly and spun. “You paid him? Aerith, I should be paying you. Today, helping you was supposed to be a safe way to let him out of that dinky apartment, to distract him. It wasn’t about getting money from you.”

“He helped me tons and I’m the type of employer who believes in profit sharing, so stop acting weird about it. He probably took the gil and went to buy dinner.” Zack cupped her face with his hand, expression somehow both fond and panicked. 

They didn’t find Cloud back at the apartment, but Zack stopped freaking out long enough to notice the missing oven and the missing oven led them rather directly to Alfonso the local junk dealer as Aerith was certain he would be the only person capable of repairing appliances in sector five. “No renegotiating,” Alfonso sniped. He had their oven disassembled in front of him, and didn’t let Zack get a word in as he continued. “If you don’t like the deals your business partner makes, then don’t let him negotiate. If there was more than one drake, how was I to know? I only heard about the one.”

“Drakes? What the hell are you talking about?” Zack had a sinking suspicion he knew what Alfonso was talking about. Wasn’t this the man who sent him on a mission to fight a pair of hedgehog pies that actually turned out to be dozens? Gods, if Cloud had been sent to fight a hoard of drakes, he might already be dead. “If you think Cloud was my business partner, you’re wrong. He’s an injured veteran that is just now getting back on his feet. So maybe tell me what deal you struck so I can go make sure he doesn’t get killed.”

Alfonso set his screwdriver aside and frowned. “Really? He had a broadsword and he lugged that oven around like it weighed nothing.”

“Where did you send him?” Zack interrupted, harshly.

“Sector seven’s scrap yard. He could have told me no. He said he could handle it,” Alfonso said. 

Aerith grabbed Zack’s hand and tugged him away before he could say or do anything else to Alfonso. The man had no way to know anything was wrong with offering Cloud a mercenary job. “Look, I know a short cut. Let’s hurry.”

* * *

Getting lost wasn’t terribly surprising for Cloud. He knew he should have asked for directions once he was on the road toward sector six, but Midgar was a circle and the sectors were numbered sequentially. He just needed to follow the road to sector seven and then get directions to the scrap yard. Somehow his trip through sector six had turned confusing and winding. He should just ask for directions, but the people here with their shrewd eyes just made him feel more paranoid and reluctant to admit weakness.

No, he kept walking, determined to find his way without asking until someone called his name. The familiar accent had him frozen, trying to remember. 

“Cloud Strife, it is you. I don’t believe it.” 

“Tifa?” Cloud asked hesitantly, not completely trusting his memory to be accurate. The pretty, red-eyed girl smiled and he knew he had guessed right. “It’s been a long time.” It had been at least five years if Zack’s explanations of recent events was close to accurate.

“Too long. Are you still with Shinra? I mean, you must have made SOLDIER. Those eyes are trippy.” 

It was on the tip of his tongue, to agree that he had made SOLDIER, first class even, but those memories weren’t his. Zack told him he was an infantryman. His eyes were a symptom, not a badge of achievement. “I’m not with Shinra anymore, and I never was a SOLDIER.”

Tifa went quiet for a few beats, processing his answers. There were mako laced drugs that could give someone SOLDIER eyes, but you had to be a real junkie, on the verge of overdosing to achieve them. She couldn’t quite imagine the serious, quiet Cloud from her childhood with that kind of substance abuse problem, but he had all but spelled it out for her. It suddenly made more sense that he was wandering the back alleys of Wall Market. It broke her heart to think about it. “So if you aren’t with Shinra, what’s keeping you busy these days? If you need a job, I might be able to help.”

“Just need directions,” Cloud said, inordinately relieved to have a safe person to ask. “I’m heading for the scrap yard in sector seven. I have a job to kill a drake there.”

Tifa frowned, worried that Cloud planned to fight a drake solo when he was too dazed to find his way from sector six to seven. “I’m heading to sector seven. You can come with me and I’ll even take you to the scrap yard. We can take care of the drake together. What do you say?”

“I just asked for directions. You don’t need to come with me. I can handle a drake.” Cloud could remember how the sword had felt in his hands, flinging himself at the scaly flying beasts. Except he hadn’t been a sword user. According to Zack, he had used a rifle in combat. 

Tifa shrugged, “How often do you get to go drake hunting with an old childhood friend? I want to come. Don’t worry. I won’t slow you down.” She lifted her fists into a practiced battle stance.

“Fine.” Cloud looked up, but even here in sector six where the plate was incomplete he couldn’t see the angles of the sun to judge the time. “I need to hurry.”

Tifa smiled brightly. “Okay then, follow me.”

* * *

It wasn’t that Aerith’s shortcut was longer than the main road. No, it was shorter and it avoided Wall Market entirely, but it was full of monsters and bandits and Zack got a little more frustrated with every battle. “I officially forbid you to take this shortcut by yourself ever again.” He dodged the oversized bandit trying to bodyslam him and beat the smelly moron senseless from behind. “Seriously.”

“Hey, boyfriends do not get to forbid me, mister. Though maybe it has gotten a bit rougher since I last explored.” Aerith cast a quick cure on Zack before they moved on. “I mean, you know I have my ways, my safe shortcuts. I didn’t have anyone with a sword to clear my path before. Trust me, Zack.”

“I trust you, as much as I trust anyone in the world, but you need to realize that if you take the wrong shortcut and get eaten by a roaming monster, I will never get over it, not ever.” 

“Yeah, same goes for you Mr. Tough guy. I think we both better be careful out here in the scary world,” Aerith said.

“You know, you’re not bad with that staff. With the right materia, you’d have a pretty strong ranged repertoire, not to even mention how much the support is appreciated, but if an enemy gets up close and you don’t have someone to keep them off you.” 

“I’d get overwhelmed pretty quickly. That’s why I wouldn’t be fighting most of these battles solo. I’d be avoiding them. I’m good at not being noticed, at slipping through unseen.” Aerith patted the wall of the collapsed overpass, a faint, almost reverent smile on her face. “The planet helps me.”

* * *

The nice blue shirt Aerith bought him was in terrible shape, scorched and sooty, but Cloud had killed not one but three drakes with a strong assist from Tifa. Inordinately proud to have made some drake fighting memories that were definitely his own, he let Tifa lead the way back from the scrap yard. 

It was already dark and Tifa tried to guide him into a bar, Seventh Heaven. Cloud balked at the door. “Look, I’ve got to get back.”

“To sector six?” Tifa asked.

“No, to sector five. I live in sector five,” Cloud explained.

“Well the gates are closed for the night. The monsters get brave in the dark and keeping the gates closed keeps everyone safer until the lights are back on. So why not come in and have a meal on me? I’ll get you home in the morning, promise.”

“I can’t stay here overnight,” Cloud said. Zack would be terrified. He had barely agreed to let Cloud assist Aerith selling flowers. “I’ve been sick and a friend has been looking out for me. He’s going to be worried.”

“Does he have a phone? There’s a phone in the bar. You could call if he has a phone,” Tifa offered. When Cloud shook his head no, she offered another solution. “You know, they’ll open the gate for the Chocobo taxis after dark but they charge a mint to ferry people around after the lamps go off due to the increased risk. Do you have five hundred gil?”

“Do I look like I have five hundred gil?” Cloud asked.

“So you have a meal with me and spend the night here. Tomorrow you go home and apologize to your friend for worrying them,” Tifa said. “If you have a better idea, I’m listening.”

Cloud hovered indecisively for a moment before just stepping into the bar. “Fine, but my friend is going to kill me.”

“I’m glad you have a friend looking out for you.” Silently, Tifa just hoped she was reading the situation wrong and Cloud wasn’t chasing some designer drug high and his friend wasn’t his dealer.

* * *

Pacing inside the closed sector seven gate, Zack seemed to be thinking hard. “He killed the drakes. The scrap scavengers even described him perfectly. We’re far enough behind him that he could already be home again. So, do we stay here and search or head back into the sewers and go back to sector five?”

“Listen to yourself, he killed some drakes. He isn’t going to get murdered by a few dire rats on the road home. So, maybe we should take this time to have a meal and get a room and head home tomorrow?” Aerith proposed.

“Yeah, he won’t get killed by typical random beasties, but what if his mako-addled brain leads him to pick a fight that Shinra notices?” Zack asked.

“If the Turks wanted to notice you two, you’d have been noticed ages ago. I’d guess as long as he doesn’t storm up on the plate and start a fight with some Shinra troopers, you’ll both be fine.” Aerith wished she could share what the planet shared with her. From the moment they started stressing about Cloud’s location, she’d known that he was mostly okay if not exactly where he was. The planet had assuaged her with similar knowledge of Zack over the years. It was easier to be calm with that bit of information. “Let’s assume Cloud is heading home. He’s either stuck in sector seven for the night without knowledge of any sewer shortcuts or he’s halfway home already. We’ll find him, Zack.”


	4. Curve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Zack uses a near-quote of dialogue from the remake that Cloud says early on. As Cloud is sort of living a Zack impersonation at that point it felt organic for him to use similar words in a similar situation. No idea if anyone will even spot it, but it’s there and I wanted to acknowledge it.

The lamps didn’t just flash on like flipping a switch. The dawn started with a subtle hum, the lamps warming up and then their glow was ramped up gradually like someone was manually twisting a dimmer slowly brighter. For his part Cloud was up the moment the lamps started buzzing. He needed to be at the sector seven gates and heading out the second they opened. Tifa saved him from having to decide whether to wake her by sitting up in her bed. 

“I’ve got to go. The gates will open soon, right?” Cloud asked.

“Yeah, just give me a few seconds. Wait outside for me?” Tifa asked, obviously wanting to wash her face and change her clothes in privacy.

“Sure, I’ll just head on to the gates. I know the way back,” Cloud said, eager to just go. “Thanks for everything.”

“Just wait for me,” Tifa said firmly. “You owe me a favor. I want to meet your friend and see if your apartment is half as tiny as you said.”

Cloud sighed but he didn’t argue. Memories that he was almost certain belonged to him, flashed through his mind’s eye. Tifa hadn’t made demands of him often when they were kids, but he’d never been good at denying her when she did. At least she didn’t make him wait long. 

When the large gates finally rolled back, the open road didn’t greet him. No a tall, former soldier was standing and waiting, arms akimbo like some superhero. Cloud found himself both relieved and a little annoyed. Tifa was going to see Zack freaking out over his safety, a process that was bound to be emasculating. He consoled himself that Tifa also watched him beat a few drakes into submission a day ago, so maybe the two images would balance out.

“Thank God,” Zack exclaimed. He bounded over and enveloped Cloud into a tight hug. 

“This is why the neighbors think we’re dating,” Cloud muttered. 

“Screw the busybody neighbors. I’m comfortable in my masculinity and the doctor said hugging was the best tactile stimulation for your recovery.” Zack sighed. “Now, I’m not mad. Seriously though, what were you thinking? Leaving the apartment alone? Taking a job to kill drakes solo? I gave you permission to argue with me, not commit suicide.”

Cloud pulled away and sighed. “I handled it fine, and now the oven is fixed.”

“You sure the oven was worth risking life and limb? You hadn’t even used that sword in battle properly. What if it snapped? What if you had a relapse while there were drakes trying to eat you? Don’t get me wrong, I’m not mad. I’m not. This was going to happen. The doctor warned us. I just am not sure how to handle things going forward.” 

“Zack?” Tifa asked, hesitantly. “Oh my God, you’re alive.”

Zack took a step back and turned a concerned look toward the young woman talking to him. Considering everything that had happened to him, he could probably be forgiven for not immediately recognizing her. “Sorry, do I know you?”

“Tifa, from Nibelheim. I didn’t think anyone else survived,” she whispered.

“Small damn world.” Zack flinched when the girl’s face clicked for him, visions of a burning village dancing in his memory. “I take it you found my wayward friend here?”

“He was my friend first,” Tifa said, a twinge of bitterness in her voice. “I thought you weren’t with Shinra anymore, Cloud. Your friend is a SOLDIER.”

“We’re both ex-Shinra,” Zack clarified. Tifa didn’t know that Cloud had been at Nibelheim too. Hell, he wasn’t sure that Cloud remembered it either. “This isn’t the place for discussions of history. Cloud and I are keeping a low profile. We catch the wrong attention and bad things might follow.”

“Why don’t we take the conversation somewhere more private then?” Tifa asked, determined not to let Cloud out of her sight until she was certain of who she was turning him over to. Zack’s claim of being ex-SOLDIER was suspicious. SOLDIERs died in battle. They didn’t retire. There was no designated period of service. Once you took that first mako treatment, it meant a lifetime belonging to Shinra. Even a civilian and part time anarchist like her knew that much.

Cloud paused, overtly confused by his two friends’ exchange. “You two know each other?”

“We met once.” Zack’s lips pressed into a firm line. If there was any doubt, that settled it. Cloud did not remember their cluster-fuck of a mission to Nibelheim. It wasn’t exactly surprising. “You have somewhere in mind, Tifa?”

“Yeah, follow me.” 

Seventh Heaven was very different during the day. No longer full of men and women in various states of inebriation, it seemed larger and smelled a lot better. Cloud found a wall to put his back against and watched Tifa and Zack exchange less than trusting looks.

With a grimace, Zack looked his way. “Cloud, I apologize for this.” Without warning he cast a pointblank sleep and caught the blond before he could actually hit the ground.

“What the Hell?” Tifa asked. She raised her fists and shifted onto the balls of her feet ready to dodge if the SOLDIER cast anything at her. “Leave him alone.”

“It’s just a sleep spell. You spent a half a day with him; are you going to pretend you didn’t notice his delicate mental state? I couldn’t risk you bringing up Nibelheim and reminding him of that particular nightmare. I’m not sure if he can handle it at the moment.” Zack settled Cloud’s slumped form against the wall and crouched next to him, not drawing his sword or taking any defensive stance against Tifa. “Honestly, I’m over my head trying to help him, but Shinra owns the hospitals that might have a clue, and we’re fugitives from Shinra. So, a slum doctor that owes my girlfriend a favor, gave me some really vague advice that I’m following as closely as I can. Stressing him out with traumas his battered mind has decided not to remember is on the list of things NOT to do.”

Tifa dropped her fists, but didn’t relax or sit. “He was confused yesterday, lost. I found him in Wall Market. You say he’s in a delicate mental state. What happened to him? Why are the two of you fugitives?”

“Sorry, but I’m not answering your questions. We’re not your problem and Cloud isn’t exactly the kid you grew up with anymore. We’re involved in things, dangerous things. You should stay here and work at your bar and not get involved. I’d think Nibelheim was enough of a SOLDIER adventure for you,” Zack said. “The sleep spell won’t last long. When he wakes up, we’re leaving. Okay?”

Tifa glared. “Yeah, that’s not how this is going down. We’re all different people. You aren’t a SOLDIER anymore. I guarantee you, I’m not the nearly defenseless teenager that watched her village burn. 

“Thanks to Shinra and SOLDIER in particular, I don’t have a whole lot of family or old childhood friends left in the world. I want a real explanation about what’s going on or you’re not going anywhere with Cloud. The one thing you’ve said that I really believe is that he’s in no condition to look out for himself. With all the lies and the propaganda that came after Nibelheim, does Cloud even know what really happened? I guarantee you Shinra didn’t tell him what happened to his home, to his mother.”

Zack knew he could fight his way out of here. Stronger or not, Tifa wouldn’t be able to stop him. Was he really going to fight her though? Sighing in defeat, Zack rubbed his hands over his face then shrugged. “Cloud knows and doesn’t know about Nibelheim. He saw it go down first hand. He was wearing an infantry helmet and toting a rifle. Kid kept his helmet on pretty much constantly. He never explained exactly why, but I took it he was too proud to let everyone know he hadn’t made it into SOLDIER. He’s forgotten it though, along with three quarters of his life to date. Frankly, I’m shocked he remembered you. He’s coming out of a severe Mako addiction. He can’t tell you much of what happened in the last decade. His head, it’s just fucking scrambled.”

A little surprised at how easily Zack started talking. Tifa couldn’t help believing him. It all made sense, socially awkward and stubborn and too embarrassed to admit failure? That was their Cloud. She looked sadly at Cloud’s slumped form and wanted to hug him. Or course he had been in Nibelheim. She instantly knew which of the infantrymen he had to have been. He’d tried to help, to save her to save everyone. Not that he’d succeeded anymore than she or Zack had. “Severe mako addiction? Explain.”

“You ever hear conspiracy theories about Shinra performing unethical human experimentation in secret labs all over the countryside? Well consider it a fact. You’re looking at two escaped lab rats. Cloud by far got the worst end of it.” Zack ran a hand gently through his friends hair. “He’s doing so much better. I don’t want to mess it up now. You don’t know how bad it was.”

Tifa didn’t particularly want to imagine how bad it must have been for them in the laboratory or the aftermath. Recognizing a reflection of her own protectiveness in Zack, Tifa finally relaxed, shoulders slumping. “Okay, I won’t tell him about Nibelheim, unless he asks me directly. You can’t expect me to lie. You said you have a doctor, is there anything I can do to help?” 

“I don’t know. It should be getting easier but the challenges just keep changing. I don’t have to force feed him, or carry him around anymore, but I don’t trust him to wander Midgar and not get into trouble. Apparently he can handle a fight with a drake or three, but I’m not sure how he would handle complex interactions with other people. He’s only been speaking again for a matter of days. What if he goes backwards and stops talking or forgets where the apartment is?” What if he forgets who he is again? Zack refrained from saying aloud. 

“There aren’t many people that know about us, about Cloud’s recovery. If Shinra decides to come after us again, anyone in the vicinity would be in danger. That said, if you really want to help, maybe you wouldn’t mind watching out for him once in a while? I’m afraid to leave him alone until he’s proved this new level of awake is going to last. A couple of days ago, he wasn’t talking and hadn’t showed any interest in leaving the apartment. Three months of almost no progress and then we’re suddenly here. Cloud’s leaving the apartment alone, taking mercenary missions and crossing districts by himself to fight monsters.”

Tifa nodded, understanding immediately how dangerous that could be if Cloud got confused at the wrong moment. Zack had come across as a good guy five years ago, and if what he was saying was halfway true, he’d gone above and beyond for Cloud. “Of course I’ll help.”

* * *

Aerith perched on the railing outside Zack and Cloud’s apartment. Rather than risk missing Cloud coming home, they had decided to divide and conquer today. She would hold down the fort and wait for Cloud while Zack scoured sector seven. If Cloud had gotten caught inside sector seven, he might hopefully be there at first light waiting for the gates to open. 

It was too ridiculously expensive to keep up with a cell phone, but Aerith wished she had one and Zack had one and she could call to check on him. 

“Hey there,” a woman in a threadbare blue housecoat called. She waved at Aerith and with a smile offered her a cigarette. “Do you know the twinks?”

“Um, you mean Zack and Cloud? And I don’t smoke, thanks,” Aerith said.

“That’s them. My neighbors, nice boys, pretty to look at too, especially the brain damaged one. He’s almost pretty enough to be a girl, except for that hair, weird hair. Of course a little product would fix it. I’m Lavern.” The woman offered Aerith her hand and the ladies shook briefly. “So what’s your name? I’ve seen you around. Ariel? Aeris?” Lavern asked.

“It’s Aerith.” Normally she would follow up with nice to meet you or a smile, but the smoking lady had not rubbed her the right way at all. “Nice weather we’re having,” Aerith added into the awkward silence.

“Sure, warm and smoggy, nothing like Midgar in the spring.” Lavern blew out a long plume of smoke that found its way into Aerith’s face. “So tell me about the boys. I’m dying to know what their story is. Me and my sister have been speculating since they moved in but they’re not the most sociable pair. The blond one is mute as far as we can tell and the other is always out working. Not that I haven’t tried to get his attention a time or two but he’s always busy, or he’s just obsessed with the braindead, blond boy, at least that’s what my sister thinks. Why do the handsome hard-working ones always have to be gay?”

“Yeah, I don’t think talking about them is something I want to do. Thanks though,” Aerith said. 

“You don’t have to be a priss. It’s just a little gossip, just a little fun.” Lavern flicked ashes directly onto the breezeway. 

Aerith spotted Zack and Cloud amongst the crowd of people going about their business. She smiled brightly, but didn’t jump down to greet them right away. She waited until they were close enough that Lavern couldn’t miss what she had planned. Aerith met the boys a couple of feet from their front door. Like a heroine from a dime store novel she threw her arms around Zack’s neck and kissed him. 

“Good morning,” Zack returned her kiss happily, even spun her around a bit. “Not that I don’t appreciate the enthusiasm, but is everything okay.”

“Your neighbor is annoying. I’m giving her something new to speculate about. Also, you found him! I knew you would. Good morning, Cloud.” Aerith placed a chaste kiss on Cloud’s cheek and he immediately flushed pink. She tried her best not to frown at the sorry state of the clothes she’d bought him. They were good assistant florist clothes, but not so great drake-fighting clothes. “You worried Zack to death.”

“You weren’t worried?” Cloud asked.

“Nah, I saw you in action yesterday. I knew it was going to be fine.” Aerith grabbed one of each boy’s arms and situated herself between them. “I think we need breakfast. There’s a stand down toward the weapon shop that sells mystery kabobs. I mean they’re probably cat kabobs. But they’re good.”

“I could eat,” Zack agreed.

Cloud didn’t fight Aerith steering them, but he didn’t let it stop him from talking either. “Cat for breakfast, Zack? Any excuse not to explain that sleep spell, I guess. You were going to explain yourself when we got home. I’m not so fragile that you can’t have simple conversations about me around me. It’s not going to hurt my feelings to know exactly how helpless I was. If you’d let me, I would show you that I’m not helpless now. I was a first class SOLDIER.” Cloud froze as soon as the words were out. “Sorry, just, still a little confused. I know some of the things I’m remembering aren’t real. Maybe I’m getting some wires crossed. I know I wasn’t a SOLDIER. You told me.”

“It’s really okay,” Zack said. “You’re wires are a little crossed as you put it. Unfortunately, that means you’re going to have to endure my overbearing micromanaging of said wires. Because, Cloud, if I think something is going to damage you, set you back in any way, I’ll cast sleep spells, lock you in a basement, do whatever I have to do to protect you, even if it’s from yourself. You can hate me for it, but I won’t stop, not as long as I’m alive.”

“Boys,” Aerith said quietly. They had come a long way from that first day in the church. No longer a man with a helpless dependent, they were family, arguing like brothers sometimes did. “Breakfast first, then we’ll head up to the flower beds and have a good talk. Cloud, try to give me and Zack both a minute to catch up. You’ve been so sick for so long, we’re just a little behind the curve on how fast things have changed.”

Zack smiled brightly. “Honestly, I’ve never been more happy to have a friend mad at me. While you were still in that semi-comatose state, just almost back but not quite, I’d do annoying shit to you. I sang bawdy songs they taught us in basic training.”

Aerith winced and interjected, “Zack has many fine qualities but a beautiful singing voice is not one of them.” 

“I’d Ruffle your hair like you hate. As a distraction with my insomnia, the things I did to your hair.” Zack ruffled his own hair into greater disarray. “There were braids and corn-rows and ribbons. I just wanted you to tell me to stop it. For months that’s what I’ve been trying to get out of you. You can yell at me all morning, all night. Hell, you can yell at me all week. It’s fine; I’ll take it.”

“You put ribbons in my hair? I might yell for two weeks.” A beat later Cloud added quietly, “I’m sorry.”

“Sorry?” Zack asked, genuinely puzzled.

“Not for yelling, you deserve that,” Cloud clarified.

“That’s fine. I’m not apologizing for the sleep spell or the ribbons or any of it. I’d do it all again,” Zack said.

“I’m sorry, for taking so long to wake up.” Cloud frowned, visibly uncomfortable. “It had to be really hard, keeping up with me all those months, and we were friends sure, but you didn’t have to do that for me. You were a SOLDIER first class and I was in the infantry. You know I can’t remember it properly, but you probably barely knew me.” 

Zack literally felt a sharp pain in his chest at Cloud’s explanation. Of course it didn’t make sense to him, Cloud had no memory of their missions together, most especially of that final mission, fighting a hopeless battle against Sephiroth that they somehow survived together. He had no memory of the lab and Hojo’s ministrations. He barely had any memories of their time scratching together an existence in the slums. “We’re the kind of friends that would do that for each other, that and more. You just don’t remember how we got to that point. 

“You’ve got nothing to apologize for.”


	5. Fly Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The story could go on, but it doesn’t really need to from here. I hope the two or three of you who made it this far enjoyed the story. 
> 
> (I know it’s not exactly a happy ending, but it’s not unhappy either. It’s a beginning type ending.)

The planet’s subtle warning whispers curled around Aerith’s fingers as she dug in the soil of a bed of daffodils, allowing air in, letting them breathe. The planet whispered all the time, enough information to drive a girl crazy, but Aerith had learned very young to just listen for certain things and people and tune the rest out. Zack was coming, and he was a storm today. Angry? Not just anxious? Aerith frowned, never pausing her ministrations to the soil. No, she corrected herself when Zack finally slipped through the garden gates and drew close enough to touch, that storm was grief, any other emotions were just peripheral consequences. “Hey, you okay? Did Cloud finally talk to you? He’s been so secretive lately.”

“Did you know?” Zack asked, harshly. “Did he tell you? Didn’t the planet warn you? Did you know I was hurting him?”

“What are you talking about?” Aerith asked. “You wouldn’t hurt a fly, well unless the fly had it coming. Zack?” Deciding in the moment that he was just too distraught to make sense, Aerith brushed the dirt off her hands and hugged Zack tight. He clung onto her and he cried like he hadn’t let himself in all the time since his return to Midgar. “Are you hurt? Is Cloud okay? Zack what happened?”

* * *

**Earlier-**

The dusty wastes that connected sectors six and seven weren’t exactly a Shinra training simulator, but they made a decent arena for two SOLDIER level fighters to exchange some blows. Cloud adjusted his grip on the new weapon that Zack had recently brought him, a hardedge, no upgrades, no materia, but a decent, hard-hitting sword. With some upgrades it could be a very nice weapon. It would take a few swings to really get a feel for the blade’s weight and balance but it was best to get through those stutter steps in a spar and not fighting an enemy. 

Zack waved a gloved hand, inviting Cloud to make the first move and they were off. As expected, Cloud struggled in the beginning until the blade really started to feel comfortable. The hardedge was a battering ram of a broadsword, and once he got the heft of it down, Zack visibly started having to work to keep his guard impenetrable. 

Though Zack sported an entire complement of materia, there was no magic exchanged. Just hard, fluid sword blows. Between exchanges, Zack offered quick critiques on technique and form. He lectured on how to seize and create openings. Cloud accepted the advice, even though he knew most of what he was being taught from memory if not from practice. He could literally remember Angeal Hewley saying, the exact same phrases, “Without balance, you’ll never have the strength you need. If you don’t adjust your grip you’re going to injure yourself, mako enhancements or not.” 

Once they were both tired and sweaty and ready for a break, they settled in to clean their weapons. Zack and his non-existent personal space bubble sat so close that their arms brushed from time to time as they worked. Cloud enjoyed the moment, the silent, easy companionship while he could.

“Ready to head home?” Zack asked. 

“Yeah,” Cloud agreed. “I’m not coming with you though.”

“Sector seven again? The lovely Tifa has been monopolizing your time quite a bit,” Zack said. “Does she mind sharing her little apartment with you so much?” 

Cloud sighed. “Actually, she found me a small affordable place right next to her. I’ve already moved a few things in.”

It wasn’t a complete surprise to Zack that Cloud might be ready to spread his wings a bit and get some space so he didn’t panic at the news. Over the last few months, Cloud hadn’t remembered a lot of his past, but he didn’t seem to have any trouble making new memories and adjusting to the here and now. “That’s a little abrupt. I figured you’d talk a move like that over with me before you rented a new apartment.” Zack put a smile on and tried to make it sincere. “I’m glad Tifa will be close.”

“I realized something a couple of weeks ago and I’ve been trying to figure out how to tell you since it all clicked together for me, but every way I phrased it was going to be challenging.” Cloud took a deep breath and continued slowly. “My memories, the false ones, have gotten clearer and more linear over time. Those false memories are so tangible, so real that it’s hard to tell myself that they’re not my past. I know they aren’t. You tell me when I’ve slipped into a memory that can’t be mine whenever you realize. I appreciate that, it’s helped more than you know.”

Zack nodded, concern etched into his face. Not knowing what Hojo had done to the two of them or his ultimate goals made it hard to understand and manage symptoms. Cloud was a walking, talking medical mystery according to the slum doctor they visited from time to time. “Maybe the doc will have an idea on how to help with the rogue memories? It has to be weird, having a whole false timeline in your head.” Like he had so many times, he wrapped an arm around his friend and pulled him close. Cloud let him, but after a moment he pushed away and purposefully put some space between them.

“Do you remember when we fought those malfunctioning Shinra drones by the sector five cemetery? We didn’t have to talk. I knew what to do, what you were going to do. It was just like the battle you fought with your old friend Kunsel,” Cloud explained. “The false memories are too clear to be confusing anymore. Zack, there are so many things that I shouldn’t remember. Angeal Hewley, just a bit of gray hair at his temples, stoic and strong, explaining a SOLDIER’s honor. I also remember him literally spanking my… your butt for sneaking a pretty girl into the executive spa before you ever got your first mako enhancement. The memories are too compete, too detailed. It’s like I lived them, even though I know I didn’t. Over and over I have to tell myself that those aren’t my memories.”

“What are you saying exactly? You remember my memories?” Zack frowned at Cloud’s recitation. Over the course of Cloud’s illness, he had rambled extensively on everything from how to raise goats in the heat of Gongaga to how to pick up pretty girls at the Gold Saucer, but had that recitation somehow turned into this malignant memory chain in Cloud’s impressionable, mako soaked brain. “You think the false memories are some interpretation of my memories?”

“I thought that for a long time,” Cloud said. “You know my brain was not working right and my memories were floating off in the lifestream. It made sense to me. My empty head just took what you said and tried to create a history for me to work from. I didn’t tell you because it wasn’t your fault and I didn’t want it to be weird. I thought that maybe without that extra scaffolding, there wouldn’t have been enough of Cloud Strife the original to ever wake up. 

“So, I decided it didn’t matter as long as I could keep straight that those memories were not my memories.” Unconsciously, Cloud scooted further away from Zack. He took a slow steadying breath. “That isn’t what happened, or what’s happening. The memories are transferring between us, like diffusion or osmosis or something. The closer we are, the more I’m getting. The memories are organized now and so clear. It would be the simplest thing in the world to just surrender to them and let them be who I am. It’s getting harder to be Cloud at all.”

“I don’t believe this. I mean, you’re confused. This is another wires crossed moment. You aren’t getting memories from me, not real memories. That’s crazy.” But Zack didn’t move any closer.

“Two weeks ago, Tifa and I delivered those baby chocobos to Billy’s farm. When I came back, I got a load of memories. It was like walking into a brick wall. It made me realize the truth. Tell me if they were real or not.” Cloud winced and blushed all the way to the roots of his hair. “My being away for days was an opportunity for you and Aerith to have some alone time, well alone-together time. You had to pretzel yourself into that little cot in our apartment but you wanted to make sure Aerith was able to be comfortable sleeping next to you. I mean you didn’t actually sleep a wink. You were so happy anyway.”

“Stop,” Zack said. Listening to Cloud describe those quiet, stolen, intimate nights, it was wrong, an invasion of privacy. “You’re absorbing copies of my memories. What do we do? How do we stop it?” Zack paused at the significant look Cloud gave him. “That’s why you’ve been hiding in sector seven, always missing the gate, always with a job and passing messages through the girls. You were staying away.”

“Until I could figure out how to tell you, but you kept coming by and taking me home and you wouldn’t let me hide.” Cloud raked his hands through his hair, a perfect Zack mannerism. “And I can say it, I love you, Zack, but I’m not willing to let this process continue until I’m literally just a reflection of you with blond hair.” 

Cloud rose, new sword on his back, determine to not show Zack how terrified he was to cut ties so completely from the only person he completely trusted. “The sword is perfect. I’ll take good care of it and myself and Tifa. Thank you for everything.”

For his part it took Zack a few seconds to say anything, struggling to find words. “I told you that I’d do whatever it takes to protect you, Cloud. You say distance stops the process? Then I’m going to go now.” Their every hello and goodbye had involved a hug for so long that Zack felt strange and dispassionate, waving his farewell. “You’ll send word if sector five and seven are too close? If you’re still getting new memories, and we can increase the distance.”

Cloud nodded. 

Zack walked briskly away, turning every couple of steps to say something else. “Cloud, you have to be careful, okay? Let Tifa watch your back. No solo missions, man. And you have to remember to eat. I’ll send Aerith with some gil from the savings, real soon.”

The last time he looked back Cloud was still standing silently, hand raised in solemn farewell. Then Zack was running as hard and fast as he could.

* * *

Cradling her big strong SOLDIER’s head in her lap, Aerith let Zack cry until he was done and she resolutely held her tongue until he was able to haltingly share Cloud’s devastating revelation and impromptu resignation from the life they were building. “It doesn’t sound to me like Cloud blames you for what was happening.”

“Of course he doesn’t blame me, it’s impossible for him not to empathize. He has so many of my memories crammed in his head, he’s thinking like me and acting like me. He inverted his sword grip like me out of nowhere. I didn’t teach him that bad habit. It took Angeal years to break me of it.” Zack ran his hands through his hair and pulled away form Aerith to start pacing. “Gods, how did I not see it?”

“It’s not exactly obvious as all that. Any quirkiness in his behavior was pretty easy to chalk up to residual Mako addiction. Of course if you want to get mad and blame someone, maybe give yourself a break and focus on someone who actually is at fault?” Aerith proposed, gently.

“You mean Hojo? Or our dear friends the Turks? Or maybe Shinra itself, the giant bloodsucking monstrosity of a company that blindly empowers men like Hojo?” Zack asked. “Trust me, I blame them all. I just expect better of myself. I should have realized.”

Aerith took his hand and gently tugged Zack toward the garden path. “I propose we do something to fix the situation.” 

“What do you mean? We can’t fix it. I could go up to Shinra tower, muscle my way to the sixty fifth floor and discuss the situation with Hojo, I could politely ask him for his best remedies, but I can’t see the man being very helpful. And then when he’s not helpful, I can’t see me not cutting him in half, maybe quarters.”

“I can’t think of anyone in the world who needs quartering more,” Aerith admitted without hesitation, “But that’s not what I was thinking. It’s more of a work around.”

Weaving her way through sector five, Aerith led Zack straight to his semi-regular customer, Alfonso, the junk dealer. “Hiya,” Aerith greeted, all smiles and perkiness.

Zack recognized this as her, I’m-about-to-charm-you-out-of-everything-you-own expression. He very wisely let her continue whatever her plan was uninterrupted, maintaining a silent presence at her shoulder.

“So, what do you have in cheap PHS’s? I need two,” Aerith stated, as though she were looking for something common, easy.

“Do I look like a fancy electronics shop?” Alfonso asked. “I just got in a functional set of walkie-talkies, but that’s it for communication devices.”

“Oh, that might work. What’s the range on those?” Aerith practically bounced in place. “Would they reach from sector five to say seven?”

“Nope, I’d say Sector five to six would be the limit and depending where you are in the sectors would definitely affect the quality of your connection.” Alfonso rummaged around in a box of goods until he found a clunky, old pair of discarded camo-patterned, vaguely PHS-looking devices. “I’m thinking five hundred gil?”

Aerith sighed dramatically and picked one of the battered objects up. She fiddled with the dials carefully. “Five hundred seems a lot to me. Maybe, if you could boost the range so they actually got reception all the way to sector seven, they’d be worth two hundred. If they won’t even reach sector seven, they’re really useless to us.”

“Four fifty, and yeah I could rig a boost up, but that would make them a bit illegal. Strong signals like that are supposed to be limited to government types,” Alfonso bargained. “You want them?”

“Four fifty is a lot,” Aerith sighed.

“We’ll take them,” Zack said. “You get the four hundred fifty if they pass muster when we try them out.”

“Okay, but I need one hundred up front for my labor,” Alfonso said, visibly pleased at the price. “Then give me a couple of days. This kind of work is delicate.”

Gil changed hands and the men shook on their deal. Aerith just looked disgusted. Once they had put a little distance between themselves and the junker, she started complaining. “You just overpaid so much. Why didn’t you let me handle the negotiation? He needs flowers. Virtually everyone in the sector knows his wife is mad at him. He took apart her disk player to fix something at his shop. I could have bartered, flowers daily until she forgives him. It would have saved you so much gil.”

Zack tugged her around and kissed her to stop the rant. “You’re a genius and I don’t doubt you’d have talked him down to fifty gil and a flower, but I’d have paid a thousand, so don’t worry about it. You just made sure that I can keep up with Cloudy. You’re my hero.”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m a hero.” Aerith glowered. “I know you weren’t born with a silver spoon, but you spent too much time up on the plate, earning big Shinra money. You do not know how to haggle properly. Everyone knows it. And they take advantage of it. You know I’m not trying to make a mint in life, but I know how hard you’ve been saving. You should have let me help.”

“I guess, you’ll have to teach the children to haggle,” Zack said with a shrug.

A smile involuntarily curved her lips at the mention of children. “Zack Fair did you just make plans for our future children?”

In the moment he had forgotten that children were probably a terrible idea for people with his type of medical history. They’d probably have tentacles. He would love their tentacled faces but no kid deserved that start in life. “Yeah, I mean all the Leaf House kids sort of belong to you, right?”

“Smooth back peddling, sir. The Leaf House kids are mine and yours and Biggs’ and so many people’s. They will be good hagglers as long as you let the rest of us teach them.” Aerith linked hands with him again. “Seriously though, I don’t know that a girl like me should have kids anyway. What I am, maybe we aren’t meant for this world anymore.”

Zack frowned and shook his head. It was one thing to think that about himself, that he shouldn’t be having kids, but Aerith wasn’t a monster. Was she different, sure, but good different, different that the world would be darker without. “Or the world needs more little Aeriths running around.”

Aerith shrugged. “It doesn’t matter. My boyfriend doesn’t want kids. He lives a dangerous lifestyle.” She didn’t mention Zack’s persistent self loathing, his certainty that he was a monster. He didn’t need to say it and she wasn’t going to either. “Of course, we might both change our minds someday. Who knows?”

* * *

**Epilogue:**

Tifa recognized the half dozen pamphlets spread out on Cloud’s table and she sighed. It wasn’t that she didn’t expect Barret to recruit anyone that crossed his path and expressed discontent with Shinra. It was more that Cloud wasn’t necessarily competent to be making decisions about his future as an eco-revolutionary. “Did you read those already?” she asked.

“Yeah, not sure I understand the science. Scratch that, I know I don’t. Shinra has a whole load of scientist with just as many degrees that argue the opposite opinion. Who knows which team has it correct?” Cloud stacked the pamphlets and slid them across the table to Tifa.

“Not for you then?” Tifa asked.

With a grimace, Cloud shrugged. Joining Avalanche was a terrible idea. He and Zack were only existing under Shinra’s radar on a slim credit of good will the Turks held for their former SOLDIER coworker. Zack would never approve of the decision, not in a million years. “I don’t get the science, but blowing up Shinra. I could get behind that mission statement.”

“Cloud!” Tifa scolded. “What about being a fugitive? What about staying beneath notice?”

“If I’m going to be a fugitive, I want to have earned it. So far, I’m the most boring criminal in the history of Midgar. My crime was escaping from a laboratory, and really that was all Zack.” Cloud smiled thinly. “Don’t you think I have what it takes to be an eco-terrorist?”

“Revolutionary, you mean, and of course you have what it takes,” Tifa sighed. The only thing holding Barrett back from his plan to start blowing up reactors was a desire to have an insider on the strike team that could steer them through the reactor and Shinra systems if things didn’t go exactly as planned. If Cloud joined up, the reactor bombing mission would probably follow soon after. “Have you talked to Zack?”

“I’m not a child. He isn’t my keeper. Don’t you dare bring this up to him,” Cloud said, inadvertently sounding like a disgruntled teenager. “Do you think I’m still too mako-crazy to join Avalanche?”

Tifa slumped in defeat. “You’re no more crazy that the rest of us. Zack is going to be very angry when he finds out though. You realize that?”

“Of course I realize that,” Cloud said. As much as Tifa knew his medical issues, he hadn’t explained about Zack’s memories, about his struggle to not just let them define who he was and who he was going to be. She didn’t understand that defying what Zack would want was about saving himself, saving Cloud from disappearing. “It doesn’t change anything.”


End file.
